i miss him.

it's been hard growing up without him. mentally, emotionally, growing up. i've gotten used to it. but isn't that the sad part? getting used to living without a stable back up for your mentality? your emotions?

i need him.

after all, what's a daddy's girl without her daddy?

stories.

today, things seem to be falling perfectly to place, to that ideal location of 'almost fitting', like a puzzle you're about to finish on your dining room table. then all of a sudden, it feels like it's a toddler that comes up and knocks things all out of proportion, it's all scattered. i wonder if they find their ways back to their sanctuaries, the memories, the moments, the realizations. everything. i wonder if they ever get lost and travel some place else, to someone else. everyday you just want to be able to stand up and shout at the kids to control themselves, don't you? just want to have that feeling of power and control that you CAN stop what's making things so...discombobulated. that you can have your peace, that you can have your time, to focus and control. focus and control...